Laughed At, Judged, & Scorned
Laughed at, judged, and scorned for her promiscuous lifestyle, a young lady wept in my office as the pain from her heart seeped out of her eyes.
From the world's view, she seemed hopeless and had been told often how "pathetic" she was. She had always tried to fix deep wounds in her heart by finding another man who could help her feel loved and valued.
She expressed to me that she didn't want to live that way, but the nee
d for companionship was so great that she constantly looked for someone who could fill that hole in her heart. The vicious cycle of finding a new relationship, as soon as she ended the previous one, consumed her thoughts. "I cannot be alone!" She cried. I can't stand the pain. The emptiness. The deep gaping hole that was left in her heart continued to fester. It continued to grow.
At the point of despair and often feeling "suicidal," she knew she wouldn't be able to handle much more. She decided to try "Seed Digging."
When we found the "root" for the driving obsession to have another "man" meet her needs, she discovered something that would forever change her life. She recalled several memories of childhood. These memories mostly involved encounters with her dad.
She described him as a "hard man." Although she knew he loved her, he didn't know how to express that love. He wouldn't let her cry when she was sad. He wouldn't hold her when she was hurt. He would tell her to "get tougher." He dismissed her emotions as if they didn't exist.
And just like children consistently do, she drew a "false" assumption that would forever impact her life. As each of these memories surfaced, the "seed" that was planted in her mind was that she wasn't important--that she didn't "matter." Because she believed her "needs" weren't important, she began to believe that neither was she.
As a result of this "seed" or belief, she began withdrawing from close relationships. She kept her distance from those she loved the most. She was too afraid of feeling that pain again. She was too afraid of rejection.
As she grew older, the "seed" would get watered. When she encountered her first "love," she began to feel needed. When she would give a part of herself to him, it felt like the gaping wound was healing. But as soon as the relationship was over, the wound only festered, grew deeper, and left her feeling lost and alone.
The cycle began and continued on. What felt like temporary relief, turned into a "high," just as strong and powerful as a drug. But just like the drugs, the high only lasts for a short while, and the horrific viscous cycle continues, until the person loses all hope.
The "truth" she discovered in that session was more powerful than any "high" she had ever felt before. She immediately felt loved by the God of the Universe and realized that no man, not even her father, could ever fully meet those innate needs of feeling loved and valued.
She chose to believe the words she had longed to hear since she was a little girl. She chose to believe that she was perfect and the God of the Universe was absolutely in love with her. She discovered that day that the only "constant" in her life who would never leave her and was happy with her just the way she is, was her loving Creator. She also chose to forgive her dad and the numerous men she had given her heart to, simply to fill an innate need that truly could only be fulfilled by God.
This lady's promiscuous behaviors stopped. Her relationships began to change. The joy on her face and the peace in her heart is incredible.
She is currently in a loving, successful relationship. It continues to thrive because her Creator fills her heart continuously. Her husband just gets to come along for the journey.
The pressure on her husband to always meet her needs is nonexistent. They both trust that God is the only one who can touch the depths of their hearts and fully meet those innate needs perfectly. They both get to just love each other. Amazingly, their physical and emotional needs somehow always get met. Their relationship is amazing.
"Truth always sets us free."